Quentin Blake
http://books.guardian.co.uk/graphic/0,,2282021,00.html
I didn’t go into the shed very often, because the whole point of it as far as Roald was concerned was that it was private, a sanctuary where he could work where no one interrupted him. The whole of the inside was organised as a place for writing: so the old wing-back chair had part of the back burrowed out to make it more comfortable; he had a sleeping bag that he put his legs in when it was cold and a footstool to rest them on; he had a very characteristic Roald arrangement for a writing table with a bar across the arms of the chair and a cardboard tube that altered the angle of the board on which he wrote. As he didn’t want to move from his chair everything was within reach. He wrote on yellow legal paper with his favourite kind of pencils; he started off with a handful of them ready sharpened. He used to smoke and there is an ashtray with cigarette butts preserved to this day.

The table near to his right hand had all kinds of strange memorabilia on it, one of which was part of his own hip bone that had been removed; another was a ball of silver paper that he’d collected from bars of chocolate since he was a young man and it had gradually increased in size. There were various other things that had been sent to him by fans or schoolchildren.

On the wall were letters from schools, and photographs of his family. The three or four strips of paper behind his head were bookmarks, which I had drawn. He kept the curtains closed so that nothing from outside came in to interfere with the story that he was imagining. He went into the shed in the morning and wrote until lunchtime. He didn’t write in the afternoon, but went back later to edit what he’d done after it had been typed out by his secretary.

He wrote in the shed as long as I knew him – we worked together for 15 years from 1975 to 1990 and I illustrated a dozen of his books. I would take my drawings down to Gipsy House for him to look at while sitting on the sofa in the dining room. I don’t think he let anybody in the shed.

Eye Halve a Spelling Chequer

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it’s weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Baffling spelling system is blamed as literacy falls short of level in other European nations

Anushka Asthana, education correspondent
Sunday June 8, 2008
The Observer

(http://education.guardian.co.uk/schools/story/0,,2284503,00.html)

The English spelling system is ‘absolutely, unspeakably awful’. That is the conclusion of new research that has found that children face 800 words by the age of 11 that hinder their reading because of the way they are spelt.

Monkey, asparagus, spinach, caterpillar, dwarf, banana, handkerchief, pliers, soldiers, stomach, petal and telescope have all been included on the long list of words that baffle children because they contain letter combinations that are more commonly pronounced in a different way.

The words have all been identified as problematic for reading, as opposed to writing, because of their ‘phonic unreliability’, according to the study The Most Costly English Spellings. It was presented yesterday at the conference of the Spelling Society, held at Coventry University. Masha Bell, the literacy researcher who carried out the work, argued that there were 200 words on the list that could be improved by simply dropping ‘surplus letters’ such as the ‘i’ in friend or the ‘u’ in shoulder.

‘English has an absolutely, unspeakably awful spelling system,’ said Bell, a former English teacher and author of the book Understanding English Spelling. ‘It is the worst of all the alphabetical languages. It is unique in that there are not just spelling problems but reading problems. They do not exist anywhere else.’

Bell argued that the spelling system was a huge financial burden on schools and was to blame for poor literacy results compared with the rest of Europe. In Finland, where words are more likelyto be pronounced as they look, children learn to read fluently within three months, she said. In the UK, academics have found that it takes three years for a child to acquire a basic level of competence. The tricky spellings make English particularly difficult for children with dyslexia and those from disadvantaged families, who are less likely to be read to regularly by their parents.

In the research Bell highlights examples of words that have the same pronunciation but different letter combinations. Examples include to and two; clean and gene; same and aim; day and grey; kite and light; and stole and coal.

Then there are those that look alike but sound different with the combinations of ‘ea’, ‘ee’ and the letter ‘o’ causing most trouble. Among the words falling into that category are eight and height, break and dreamt, and move and post. The letters ‘ough’ can also be pronounced in a number of different ways.

Simplifying the system would transform literacy results, according to Bell, but she said people were resistant to change. ‘People feel that they have suffered so much at the hands of English spelling that they are reluctant to look at it,’ she said. Yet other countries have made changes. Last month the parliament in Portugal, where the spelling system is also thought to be complicated, voted to reform and simplify it, bringing it into line with Brazil.

‘In 1928 the Turks changed their entire alphabet from Arabic to Latin,’ said John Wells, professor of phonetics at University College London and president of the Spelling Society. ‘It happened in the Soviet Union.’ In Germany there were changes made in the 1990s to make the writing system more consistent. English has also developed with words such as ‘olde’ and ‘worlde’ dropping the ‘e’.

Wells wants to see things change again and feels there are two possible approaches. The first would be to simplify the way in which words are spelt and then allow people to choose whether to use the new or old system, while the second approach would involve a complete change. ‘The Spelling Society favours the first,’ he said.

Chris Davis, spokesman for the National Primary Headteachers’ Association, said the spelling system had a major impact on children’s literacy progress: ‘It definitely slows English children down. In international comparisons, languages that are phonetically uniform always come top.’

But he said that teachers would be reluctant to see things change. ‘It would be such a major revolution that people would find it very difficult to contemplate,’ he said.

‘There are already problems because of the different spelling system in America, but there would also be resistance about going down that route. I think it is an ownership thing, that it is our language.’ Davis argued that people felt that spelling was linked to the origin of words.

100 of the most difficult words

Orange, foreign, rhinoceros, properly, vomit, tambourine, tournament, tourist, heaven, engine, exquisite, opposite, advertisement, gnarled, rigid, risen, sinister, spinach, video, vinegar, tie, wheelie, quiet, science, crier, pliers, soldier, Monday, mongrel, monkey, courage, magic, manage, palace, four, journey, gnash, gnaw, gnome, ghastly, guard, miracle, miserable, pigeon, pity, prison, month, mother, nothing, once, smother, son, sponge, tongue, wonder, almost, both, comb, ghost, gross, most, only, post, programme, deny, reply, July, obey, caterpillar, chapel, damage, dragon, fabulous, family, famished, garage, glacier, habit, hazard, hexagonal, imagine, panic, radish, miaow, powder, cauliflower, plant, pyjamas, raft, rather, salami, task, vast, kiosk, kiwi, machine, encourage, somersault, swollen, souvenir.
 

I received a great email today that fits quite well with my “fun with words” blog series (with thanks to the anonymous creators of these great lines):

1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your
Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat
miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade that fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum
Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

16. A calendar’s days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at
large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you’ve seen one shopping centre you’ve seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .

25. When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she’d dye.

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Keep it crisp
Short and snappy is sure to catch any editor’s attention. A query letter comprises three main sections:
The lead – essentially, this is the hook you’re using to catch the editor’s attention. It should be enticing and no longer than two paragraphs.
The summary – this section serves to outline the article you propose to write, i.e. the purpose of the article, any relevant facts and figures and sources you plan on interviewing.
The author’s biography – one paragraph detailing your background is sufficient in a query letter.

Don’t forget, the editor can always ask for more information if necessary.

Seal the cracks
For your content to flow, it’s important for all your ideas to be linked. Although withholding key information is a well-known sales tactic, be careful not to withhold too much. Ensure that you highlight key points and that you haven’t left out anything important.

Refine your content
The content in your query should be arranged logically and be easily legible. Start your summary with a powerful point and list the rest in a sensible order.

Tip: don’t list the least interesting point last. Rather, keep an interesting point to put in last.

Polish your style
Use an effective opening and closing line. Check the quality of your work by reading your query aloud. Make sure that your sentences flow smoothly, and rework any that don’t.

Improve with proofreading
Check, check, check! A lack of professionalism will put off any editor. Make certain there are no spelling mistakes or factual errors, least of all punctuation and grammatical blunders.

Tip: proofread your work the next day. A good night’s rest can do wonders.

Adapted from How to Write Irresistible Query Letters. Cool, Lisa Collier. 1987. Writer’s Digest Books. Cincinnati, Ohio.